Best teeth jokes and quotes

July 29, 2018

Q: What is a dentist's favourite holiday?
A: Halloween!


Q: What did the the tooth say to the dentist going on holiday?
A: Fill me in when you get back!


Q: What did the dentist say to the golfer?
A: You have a hole in one!


Q: Why does a vampire brush his teeth after every meal?
A: To prevent bat breath!

What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had ?

The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had !


What do you get if you cross teeth with candy?
Dental floss!


Why are false teeth like stars?
Because they come out at night.


What helps keep your teeth together?


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What game do you play if you don't take care of your teeth?
Tooth (truth) or Consequences.


Q: What is a dentist's favourite time of day?
A: Tooth-hurty!


Q: Why did the mother send her son to the dentist?
A: To get to the root of the problem!


Willie: "I have an awful toothache."
Tommie: "I'd have it taken out if it was mine."
Willie: "Yes, if it was yours, I would, too."


Why didn't the monster use toothpaste?
Because he said his teeth weren't loose.


How can you get a set of teeth put in for free?
Smack a monster.


Why is a toothless dog like a tree?
It has more bark than bite.


Why are vampires like false teeth?
They all come out at night.


Mother: Has your tooth stopped hurting yet?...Son:
I don't know. The dentist kept it


Beatrice Lillie (Lady Peel) was once accosted by a haughty old dowager who scrutinized her through her lorgnettes.
"What lovely pearls, dear Beatrice," she maliciously remarked. "Are they real?"
Yes, nodded Lady Peel. "Of course," the dowager declared, "you can always tell real pearls by biting them. May I try?"
"Gladly," Lady Peel replied. "But remember, Duchess, you can't tell real pearls with false teeth."


How does Snoop Dogg keep his canine teeth white?


What did the tooth say to the dentist?
"Fill 'er up!"


What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
"Thar's gold in them thar fills."


What has teeth but no mouth?
A comb or a saw.


Why is 4,840 square yards like a bad tooth ?
Because it is an acre.


A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth.
Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth."
The man said, "No problem." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said.
The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said.
The man then said, "I have another pair - try these."
The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight."
The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair. Try them."
The speaker said, "They fit perfectly."With that he ate his meal and gave his speech.
After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him.
"I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for
a good dentist."
The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm an undertaker."


What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano?
He said, "Darling, you've got lovely teeth."


What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese.


Q: What kind of award do teeth never want to get?
A: A Plaque.


Q: Where do teeth like to shop?
A: At the Gap.


Q: How far is it to the dentist’s office?
A: Sixsmiles


Q: What did the dentist have to clean out from between the polar bears teeth?
A: Slow Eskimos.


Q: What did the dentist tell the tooth as he left the room?
A: I’ll fill you in when I get back.


Q: What does a dentist give a lion with a sore tooth?
A: Anything it wants.


Q: Why did the lumberjack need to see the dentist?
A: He had a cavitree.


Q: Why do vampires brush and floss their teeth so often?
A: So they won’t have bat breath.


Q: What did the tiger eat after having his tooth pulled?
A: The dentist!


Q: Who has the scariest job in Transylvania?

A: Count dracula’s dentist.


Q: What was the tooth’s favorite book?
A: Enamel Farm.


Q: Who brings teeth gifts for Christmas?
A: Santa Floss.


Q: Which fruit leaves money for teeth they find?
A: The tooth pear-ie


Q: What do orthodontists do on roller coasters?
A: Brace themselves.


Q: When should you always go to a dentist?
A: Tooth Hurty.


Q: Why couldn’t the tooth stay for dinner?
A: He was in a brush.


Q: Which candy lost all it’s teeth?
A: Gummy bears.


Q: Which Egyptian had the healthiest teeth?
A: King Toothankhamun


Q: Why did the tooth need a filling?
A: Because it ran out of gas.


Q: Why did the tree have to go to the dentist?
A: It needed a root canal.


Q: How can you cut paper with your mouth?
A: You use your Incisors.


Q: Why did the dentist go to the tooth store?
A: To bicuspids.


Q: Why did the tooth want to be left alone?
A: It needed time toothink.


Q: What do you call a dentist’s X-ray?
A: Tooth pics.


Q: Why are teeth so sharp?
A: They study a lot!


Q: Why did the prince go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned.


Q: What did the philisophical dentist ask himself?
A: Tothee or not toothee, that is the question.


Q: How does food get into a mouth?
A: By paying at the toll tooth.


Q: Who gave the sasquatch money for his baby teeth?
A: The tooth hairy.


Q: Why are teeth so honest?
A: They’re taught by the truth fairy.


Q: What do arctic dentists see out their windows?
A: Molar bears.


Q: Which country’s citizens have the nicest teeth?
A: Brussia.


Q: Why did the boy bring spelunking gear to his dentist appointment?
A: He heard he was there for a big cavity and wanted to explore.


Q: Why did the girl go back into the dentist’s office while she was leaving?
A: Toothank him.


Q: What do you call a fear of flossing your teeth?
A: Flosstraphobia.

Q: What do you call a tooth that you lose in your backyard?
A: A lawn molar.


Q: How do teeth learn how to chew?
A: From their school teethers.


Q: How long did it take for the two teeth to fall for each other?
A: It was love at first bite!


Q: Why did the dentist faint when her son came home?
A: He told her he signed up for the hockey team!


Q: What’s the best thing to put into a slice of apple pie?
A: Your teeth.


Q: Who can you hire to find a lost tooth?
A: A tooth sleuth.


Q: Why are teeth so hard?
A: They exercise a lot!


Q: How do you get to tooth island?
A: The tooth ferry.


Q: Why did the mom ask her daughter to smile?
A: Toothee her smile.